Worst TV ads from the 2010 World Cup

In the very first ad break of SBS's coverage of the opening ceremony, I realised that these ads would be repeated countless times until the end of the World Cup. Thankfully there were some good ones but we just got sick of the majority. Of course, the World Cup is the best possible time to advertise, so companies queue in abundance to make embarrassingly desperate links between their products and football. Here's my run-through of those that were memorable for the wrong reasons:

• A cheaply animated kangaroo plays football before a stadium crowd that makes that in EA's FIFA Soccer '95 look realistic. As if the animation wasn't bad enough, the grotesque 'roo claims that "Even when the football's on the other side of the world...with TAB Sportsbet, it's almost as good as being there!"

It's enough to make you sick. TAB Sportsbet have offered us some truly disgusting ads in the past, so at least they're consistent. Interestingly, this kangaroo is playing with a football that's clearly an official Nike design (the ad even flashes the logo), so they must have bought rights to use the image. It's as if they think that will save the ad. And that makes me sick. Cheap, nasty, disastrous.

• A football match is being played inside a car tyre (bare with me). After a spectacular scissor kick shot on goal, an opposition fan screams "STOP!" and the ball stops mid-air, with the stadium watching. The voice-over laments, "if only everything stopped as quickly as tyres from Continental."

Wait, what? Now the video itself is decent, with attractive visuals and impressive special effects, but it's such a bizarre link between football and car tyres. Even more baffling is the way they've chosen to make that link--a ball stops mid-air? Huh? Watch below to be perplexed.

• Visa follows the trend of making irrelevant references to football as they dish up a simple-but-effective montage of fans around the world watching the football. It's beautiful, and has the music to match, but the voice-over ruins the moment with reprehensibly clichéd lines like, "every four years...for 31 days...the world comes together...to stand apart." We've heard it all before, and we can bear hearing it again, but then he says, jarringly, "express your true colours with an easier way to pay."

• Kia Motors is just as bad when they drive cars around a cement-covered football pitch. The supposed link is this: "it's not every day you see this kind of performance and handling--before the match even kicks off." Then grass appears and stands pop up, with hundreds of fans flocking to them and the streets. It's similar to (but far worse than) Hyundai's effort: thousands of fans fill a city square, playing with giant beach balls stitched as the unmistakable truncated icosahedron (right), adorning the Hyundai logo. It's quite abstract but easily excusable given it doesn't insult the viewer with absurd claims.

The final, most threatening contender for the World Cup's worst ad is an absolute catastrophe fronted by Grey's Anatomy actor Patrick Dempsey (below). He sits down at a cafe with friends, all of whom are more than happy to indulge their friend's ego by marvelling at his good looks. Dempsey, not the modest type, responds with a revoltingly smug look before explaining to the viewer that he's using a L'Oréal hair product. It sure is awful, but its saving grace is that it's so fun to loathe Dempsey--you don't mind watching it because you love to hate it.

Watching the Tab Sportsbet ad, however, is pure misery and torment. Distress to look at, torture to hear, it is undoubtedly the most terrible advertisement from SBS's World Cup coverage.

As for the best ad, that honour is justly awarded to Nike for their Write the Future campaign. The series features world football stars in pivotal moments during fictional matches, imagining the consequences of their deeds in that moment and acting accordingly (writing their own future). There are also appearances by stars outside of football, like Roger Federer, Kobe Bryant and even Homer Simpson. Click here to watch the in its full, three-minute excellence.

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Finally, talk of football ads cannot go without mention of that (above) starring Cristiano Ronaldo for Castrol Edge. It's gained a cult following thanks to Ronaldo's amusing interpretation of the English script.